Merle at the Checkout

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by: Paul Ivey
uploaded: 02/03/2015
 i think this all began 
with a little wheel
that cart kept on listin' 
through squeaks and squeals
inside, the greeter 
looked sideways at me
so i snarled and hissed
and pushed on for aisle three
in the liquor aisle
stocked up on whiskey and some gin
cracked open a cold one
'cause you know i shop american     
i think i lost mind 
'round aisle nine
i'm sure i lost my pants
somewhere back in aisle five
don't know exactly
the rest of what i done
but i'd finished off a twelve pack
by the time i found the guns
i tried to plead my case
with security
they just kept shouting  
wouldn't listen to me
told them 'bout my job
the kids, the president
they didn't care 
that we couldn't make the rent
so i started shooting
and everybody ran
i sat down right there
and i popped another can
i'm holed up 
in walmart with a gun
they got the place surrounded
ain't nowhere i can   run
you can blame the president, 
the economy or the beer
martha, sweet martha,
i'm so sorry, my dear

i been debating 
with a doll from aisle two
about the government 
and the rent that's two months due
I've ridden every bike 
i've tried on every shoe
my hands are nacho greasy 
but the shirt is really new
i fought a cut-out 
of mister sam walton
then pissed a river 
down onto his cardboard grin  
i never really thought 
that this is how i'd die
martha, i'm in line at 
the final checkout
before the sky


the sirens started blaring
as i was breaking in these shoes
and suddenly i realized
how i could give some help to you
martha, please know  
that i'll truly understand
if you might need 
to pleasure the insurance man
martha, tell mama
that i ain't coming home
ronnie, be a better man than your dad
when you're fully grown
little merle junior 
don't you worry, don't you cry
i'll be watching your games
on that hdtv in the sky

[chorus x2] 
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Merle at the Checkout
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